It's 1:15 in the morning and my ass is on fire

I wish I didn't top off the burritoe lunch and the ham sandwich/ceasar salad dinner with a Luke warm Duck dog. My ass is breathing out flames. It's hard to resist a duck dog when it's sitting in a box resting on a tractor inside a shed. So my crew is made up of myself and three teenagers who leave to go get stoned for pretty much the entire shift. So I'm the only one who's around to really empty the garbage cans. I get bored and so I constantly walk around Hayward Field hoping to find a can that needs to be emptied. Needless to say, some of the volunteers keep laughing at me for always carrying a trash bag to the trash area. They think I'm a hard worker and a clean freak. I've got them fooled on both fronts. I just play a hard working clean freak in public. I saw Jordan Kent, Jackie Joyner Kersey, some other person and yep, from the balcony of the Bowerman building, Phil Knight. He has a moustache. It looks good. I told him I weeded his parking space at the football stadium lastautumn. He told me to keep my distance and shave the pubic hair off my face.